Quotes from Kristen Schaal

I loved 'Burning Love,' and I really do love almost everything Paul Scheer touches.

I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He's great.

The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy because gender doesn't define sense of humor. Imagination and intelligence and perspective do.

In high school, I was doing a skit for forensics and people started laughing, more than I was prepared to deal with. It was a surprise.

I'm so happy to be around people. I just really like people, and being a freelancer can be lonely during the day, when you're at home trying to write anything you can.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

One good thing about being locked in a cage: No responsibility!

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Oh man, the car could just burst into flames right now and this would be the way to go, huh guys?

The service at this airport restaurant is so bad I'm starting to panic that I'm a ghost.

At first the kid kicking the back of my airplane seat was enraging. Then I imagined it was a broken massage chair and I kinda liked it.

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths.

You're looking good today Bret. Very hot... hotter than Jemaine. You have a refined bone structure, while Jemaine's facial features are too deep set to be classically handsome.

I'm not really a control person, and I'm a big believer in collaboration. I like to have a friend.

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

I definitely do weird things every show.

My sensibilities are like, 'I want it to be weirder.'