Quotes from Leo Rosten

I have admired W.C. Fields since the day he advanced upon Baby LeRoy with an ice pick. Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.

I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe.

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church.

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

Words must surely be counted among the most powerful drugs man ever invented.

Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers.

Conservative: One who admires radicals a century after they're dead.

Her cooking suggested she had attended the Cordon Noir.

The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all.

Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined.

A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.

Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.

Acting is a form of deception, and actors can mesmerize themselves almost as easily as an audience.

Courage is the capacity to confirm what can be imagined.

Every writer is a narcissist. This does not mean that he is vain; it only means that he is hopelessly self-absorbed.

Extremists think communication means agreeing with them.

For some not to be martyrs is martyrdom indeed.

Humor is, I think, the sublets and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers

Most men do not mature, they simply grow taller.

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.

Why do the wicked always form groups, whereas the righteous do not? Because the wicked, walking in darkness, need company, but the righteous, who live in the light, do not fear being alone.

SCENE: Classroom, Lower East Side, 1926. Teacher: "Who can tell us where the Romanian border is?" Student: "In the park with my aunt, and my mother doesn't trust him!

A young khokhem told his grandmother that he was going to become a doctor of philosophy. The bubbe smiled proudly: "Wonderful. But what kind of disease is 'philosophy'?