Quotes from Marc Maron

As a performer you are being used to keep people watching so the commercial endorsements that support the network can be seen by as many people as possible.

I'm sad to see the passing of the great drug warriors. I certainly did my part in that battle and I don't regret any of it.

If you let someone talk for an hour, you're gonna have a pretty good idea of who they are, and I think that's more rewarding than me sitting there going, "That's complete bullshit about health care."

In most cases the only difference between depression and disappointment is your level of commitment.

Well, evolution's just a theory.' And, I'm thinking to myself, 'Well, thank goodness gravity's a law.'

We need the children of Indonesia and the Philippines to manufacture our freedom of choice.

I'm not completely sure we aren't all living in a hallucination now.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you're one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

You get all excited to give her the ring, and it's real emotional, and you give it to her, and she cries. And a second later, you're like, 'Damn, I could have had a car.'

I think the reason Jesus is so popular, just on a celebrity level, is that he died at the peak of his career.

I used to do a lot of drugs. I didn't stop because I didn't enjoy them; I stopped because I couldn't handle the commitment.

Comedy is obviously a matter of personal taste and the world always needs a clown and some people have no taste at all and any clown will do.

When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.

The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day.

The way I figure it, if you can't tell I'm high by looking at me, I win.

I live in Los Angeles, I know it exists. I know you're not supposed to taste air.

In show business, it takes 10 years to create an overnight success. You've heard that, right? But what you don't hear is that that's the exact same amount of time it takes to create a bitter failure.

Surveillance induced morality: relics of cultural retardation.

There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they don't pop? They don't pop because they have integrity.

Show business is one of the few businesses that the devil will actually agree to own just a portion of your soul because he knows if you have a performer's ego you were probably working for him all along.

I'm not fundamentally a writer. I know writers, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. It bothers me that no matter how well I do it, it's not really my format.

I think that standup has always been an acquired taste and there was always only a handful of performers that were really inspired.

I'm just saying, 'Hey, throw me a bone. How about a smile, cute t-shirt? Look at me.' Nothing - unless it's a turn to their friends to go, 'Hey, why is that weird guy looking at us?'

You can't avoid pain in life. It's how you handle pain, that's what defines you.