Quotes from Marc Maron

But then again, what do I know. I project. Then I judge.

If you find yourself in conversation with someone you know and that person brings up someone you both know and before he says another word you mutter, "That guy's a fucking asshole," you might be a little bitter. If you find yourself dismissing universally acclaimed landmark achievements, saying, for example, "The Godfather is an okay movie," you might be bitter.

It's amazing how much you can rationalize when you're on drugs. I could actually say to myself, "Look, I'm only doing blow Wednesday through Saturday.

There is a weird truth to the idea that if you really don't care, things will generally go your way. If you're really invested and emotionally attached, things will get away from you or at least get chaotic and scary.

I know compulsive napping sounds like a contradiction in terms but it is not. I also call them panic naps. A panic nap usually comes on with an exacerbated declaration of: "Fuck, I gotta … goddamnit … I can't think about … shit, I'm tired.

What you don't know about your parents is what becomes fascinating as you get older. They

She had that strange mutant beauty that models have. It's the kind of beauty that no matter what they are wearing or how they try to hide themselves, a sharply defined, electric appeal comes through and zaps your desire.

Get yourself in a situation where you have no choice.

I need to complicate everything to protect myself from success and to remain complicated and overwhelmed. I

If you have a handlebar mustache, that is pretty much all you are. You are a delivery system for a handlebar mustache.

It's the irony or maybe the tragedy of being a fan that it's not enough to let the music enter you like a drug or define and shape the world for you. You also want to somehow touch it and have it affirm you in more direct ways, whether you're playing a riff like Chuck Berry or singing like Buddy Holly or buying Keith Richards's guitar—or actually meeting your idols. In

I know you've probably heard that in show business it can take twenty years to create an overnight success but what you don't hear is that that is the exact same amount of time it takes to create a bitter failure.

I think a lot of comedy comes from hypersensitivity, from being too vulnerable to deal with life and needing to preemptively protect yourself.

When you hear the things that people have gone through and realize you've gone through the same, it provides an amazing amount of relief. It gives us hope. And I think that's what we're supposed to get from each other. The

I think the pastime of chatting or candidly talking to people about anything or nothing is fading away. People don't even want to leave voice messages anymore, let alone talk. We keep a distance from each other because we can. It's odd and sad. Because just by talking to each other, we can put all the aspects and challenges and joys and horrors of life into perspective, even if that is not what we are talking about. It's relieving, comforting, and enjoyable.

I don't know if I am romanticizing, mythologizing, or being nostalgic. I assume all three. That seems to be how the brain breaks things down after a certain age. I

I didn't know what to do. I'm in love with this woman, I'm married to this other woman, and I'm in trouble, so I call my two friends. That's all I need, two. I need the main guy and the guy I go to when I drain the main guy.

My brain loves obsessions. If it can make me hate myself, then it's all the better.

We're really not that different from monkeys. What's the difference? Pants? What's the difference between grunting and "Oh, email.

There are some things you can't un-fuck.

I expect relief and life-changing impact from everything.

was seated at the front of coach in an aisle seat, directly behind the first-class dividing wall and the flight attendant service area. It's my favorite seat on a plane. I like watching people get on the plane so I can judge them. I like judging. I didn't see any real problems among the passengers who awkwardly clumped onto the plane, but I definitely felt like I was in a better place than some of them, which helped take the edge off my mood. Judging works.

I graduated with honors, which was ridiculous. Charm goes a long way in the liberal arts.

That is a metaphor for every adult relationship I've had. "Hey baby, we're going down. Get in." You