Quotes from Dick Gregory

In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don't know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.

I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn't have what I wanted.

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.

Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can't afford it.

No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.

Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.

If you take 12 waters from the coconut - not the ones you buy in the store, although that's good - but the fresh coconuts, the little brown ones with the three eyes, if you take 12 of those within 24 hours, your blood will go back to the way it was when you were born.

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry, because we didn't think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.

Now here's what I'm saying: I've always believed that every other month we hear about compromisation of bank records, I think that's the CIA and the FBI. Now let me tell you why I'm saying this. I don't believe no insignificant pip-squeak is going to be able to pull this off month after month and we can't find out what's going on.

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

It's cool to be healthy.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.

I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.

Truth is the baby of the world. It never gets old.