Quotes from Dick Gregory

There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.

Black conservatives have a right to exist, but why would I want to walk around with a swastika on my shirt after the way Hitler done messed it up?

I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.

The jelly-bean eating thug says that national defense is important. But national defense starts at home.

Luck is opportunity meeting up with preparation. So you must prepare yourself to be lucky.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighbourhood after dark.

Love is man's natural endowment, but he doesn't know how to use it. He refuses to recognize the power of love because of his love of power.

Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.

The only person on the planet saying derogatory things about his woman is the black man.

Don't have a high school diploma? You're in my Cabinet. Why? For 200 years, a lot of Cabinets have existed in our government. Powerful men. Well-educated. So let's try something totally new.

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

I was born and raised in St. Louis, and this little town, eight blocks away, place no one ever heard of, a black man there commands the attention of the world for months? That ain't my world.

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

The NAACP is a wonderful organization . . . But do you realize if tomorrow morning we had complete integration, all them cats would be outta work?

Why are black folks singing Amazing Grace which is a song about a white slaver's conversion?

Laughter is the best way to release tensions and fears.

Once we used to have to crank up our cars, now you can pop it on from inside your house. Everything has changed except how we get freedom.

Eating liver out of a cow's body is like eating the filter out of a car.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'

If it wasn't for Abe Lincoln, I'd still be on the open market.

Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.

No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That's already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.