Quotes from Brene Brown

If there's no autonomy between people, then there's no compassion or empathy, just enmeshment.

Have we created a space in our families where our kids know that they belong. Where there are no prerequisites for worthiness, you don't have to hustle here for me to believe you're worthy of loving. You don't have to perform here for me to think that you belong here. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to get a certain grade on your test. You don't have to hit so many home-runs. You belong here.

When we spend our lives waiting until we are perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable. We squander our precious time and we turn our backs on our gifts- those unique contributions that only we can make. Perfect and bulletproof are seductive but they don't exist in the human experience.

we know and understand ourselves is critically important, but there is something that is even more essential to living a Wholehearted life: loving ourselves.

The truth is that meaningful change is a process. It can be uncomfortable and is often risky, especially when we're talking about embracing our imperfections, cultivating authenticity, and looking the world in the eye and saying, "I am enough.

empathy is connecting to the feeling under the experience, not the experience itself.

Disappointments may be like paper cuts, but if those cuts are deep enough or if there are enough of them, they can leave us seriously wounded.

The entire premise of this book is that language has the power to define our experiences, and there's no better example of this than anxiety and excitement. Anxiety and excitement feel the same, but how we interpret and label them can determine how we experience them.

Because we are human and so beautifully imperfect

I also see courage in myself when I'm willing to risk being vulnerable and disappointed

We also have to invest time attending to our own fears, feelings, and history or we'll find ourselves managing our own unproductive behaviors. As daring leaders, we have to stay curious about our own blind spots and how to pull those issues into view, and we need to commit to helping the people we serve find their blind spots in a way that's safe and supportive.

Joseph Campbell's wisdom: "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." Own the fear, find the cave, and write a new ending for yourself, for the people you're meant to serve and support, and for your culture. Choose courage over comfort. Choose whole hearts over armor. And choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid. At the exact same time.

we're a social species. That's why connection matters. It's why shame is so painful and debilitating. It's why we're wired for belonging.

if you want to see the ego go to DEFCON 1, get anywhere close to shame. What makes embracing vulnerability feel the most terrifying is how taking off the armor and exposing our hearts can open us up to experiencing shame. Our egos are willing to keep our hearts encased in armor, no matter the cost, if we can avoid feeling "less than" or unworthy of love and belonging.

Again, the difference between empathy and sympathy: feeling with and feeling for. The empathic response: I get it, I feel with you, and I've been there. The sympathetic response: I feel sorry for you.

Overwhelmed means an extreme level of stress, an emotional and/or cognitive intensity to the point of feeling unable to function. I

God lives within us, not above us. Sharing our gifts and talents with the world is the most powerful source of connection with God.

Empathy is not connecting to an experience, it's connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience.

How do I know if I can trust someone enough to be vulnerable? Can I build trust without ever risking vulnerability?

The wholehearted identify vulnerability as the catalyst for courage, engagement, and a clear sense of purpose. In fact, the willingness to be vulnerable emerged as the single clearest value shared by all of the women and men whom I would describe as wholehearted. They attribute everything—from their professional success to their marriages to their proudest parenting moments—to their ability to be vulnerable.

Contempt is one of the most damaging of the four negative communication patterns that predict divorce. The other three are criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling

worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. Choosing to live and love with our whole hearts is an act of defiance.

Wholeheartedly do indeed DIG Deep. They just do it in a different way. When they're exhausted and overwhelmed, they get Deliberate in their thoughts and behaviors through prayer, meditation, or simply setting their intentions; Inspired to make new and different choices; Going. They take action.

We're called to "dare greatly" every time we make choices that challenge the social climate of scarcity.