Quotes from Brene Brown

We are hard on others because we're hard on ourselves. That's exactly how judgment works.

Shame unravels our connection to others. In fact, I often refer to shame as the fear of disconnection - the fear of being perceived as flawed and unworthy of acceptance or belonging. Shame keeps us from telling our own stories and prevents us from listening to others tell their stories. We silence our voices and keep our secrets out fo the fear of disconnection.

Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.

we stop respecting and evaluating people based on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are and holding them accountable for what they're actually doing.

Only when we're brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.'" He

When we spend our lives (knowingly or unknowingly) pushing away vulnerability, we can't hold space open for the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure of joy.

I felt totally exposed and completely loved and accepted at the same time (which is the definition of compassion for me).

We feel shame. We think self-esteem. Our self-esteem is based on how we see ourselves—our strengths and limitations—over time. It is how and what we think of ourselves. Shame is an emotion. It is how we feel when we have certain experiences. When we are in shame, we don't see the big picture; we don't accurately think about our strengths and limitations. We just feel alone, exposed and deeply flawed. My friend and

Maybe looking away is about privilege. I need to think harder and longer about my choices and recognize that choosing whom I see and whom I don't see is one of the most hurtful functions of privilege.

Caution: If you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief.

The looming threat of blowback should we voice an opinion or idea that challenges our bunker maters keeps us anxious. When all that binds us is what we believe rather than who we are, changing our mind or challenging the collective ideology is risky.

We don't have to be perfect, just engaged and committed to aligning values with action.

Laura Williams always says, "Comparison is the thief of happiness.

This is who I am. "This is where I am from. "This is my mess. "This is what it means to belong to myself.

For children, it's easy for everything to become a source of shame when nothing is normalized. You assume that if no one is talking about it, it must be just you.

She was everything I thought she'd be. Fierce and kind. Gentle and tough.

It's okay if I'm alone on this. That's not what I believe is best for this child. Period.

I don't know. I really don't. All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be." His answer felt like truth to me. Not an easy truth, but truth.

But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage and I was just courageous. You can move on, shame.

Buber wrote, "When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.

Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories—stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging

it's our fear of the unknown and our fear of being wrong that create most of our conflict and anxiety. We need both faith and reason to make meaning in an uncertain world.

To talk to ourselves the same way we'd talk to someone we care about.

empathy requires some vulnerability, and we risk getting back a "mind your own damn business" look, but it's worth it.