Quotes from Brene Brown

The majority of shame researchers and clinicians agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the difference between "I am bad" and "I did something bad." Guilt = I did something bad. Shame = I am bad.

Real power is basically the ability to change something if you want to change it. It's the ability to make change happen. Real power is unlimited—we don't need to fight over it because there is plenty to go around. And the great thing about real power is our ability to create it. Real power doesn't force us to take it away from others—it's something we create and build with others. When we talk about

It is earned not through heroic deeds, or even highly visible actions, but through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.

Here is what you need to know about disappointment: Disappointment is unmet expectations, and the more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment.

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The third thing I repeat to myself, even if the person who is offering feedback is skilled and it's a productive conversation, but I'm still reeling because it's hard to hear, is "This is the path to mastery, this is the path to mastery," or "These people care about this as much as I do.

What do you do when you've spent the majority of your life moving to try to fit in, and all of a sudden Maya Angelou is singing to you and telling you not to be moved? You learn how to plant your damn feet is what you do. You bend and stretch and grow, but you commit to not moving from who you are. Or, at the very least, you start trying.

Connection, along with love and belonging (two expressions of connection), is why we are here, and it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.

We all conspire and confabulate, and sometimes the consequences appear to be negligible. But I would argue that they're not. I would argue that conspiring can become a destructive pattern over time, and sometimes a single confabulation can damage our sense of

There is no courage without vulnerability.

Shame is so painful for children because it is inextricably linked to the fear of being unlovable. For young children who are still dependent on their parents for survival—for food, shelter, and safety—feeling unlovable is a threat to survival. It's trauma.

It's okay to be pissed. It's not okay to raise your voice and pound on the table. It's okay to change your mind. It's not okay to assume that I'm okay with the changes without talking to me. It's okay to want to be able to do things your friends are allowed to do. I totally get that. What's not okay is breaking our rules to do them. It's okay to disagree with me, but it's not okay to ridicule my ideas and beliefs.

To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility. —BELL HOOKS

Rather than building trust by acknowledging, affirming, and believing, we shut people down when we experience discomfort or disinterest, or when we take over the narrative and make it about us or our perception of what happened.

Joy is sudden, unexpected, short-lasting, and high-intensity. It's characterized by a connection with others, or with God, nature, or the universe. Joy expands our thinking and attention, and it fills us with a sense of freedom and abandon.

Cynicism and sarcasm often mask anger, fear, feelings of inadequacy, and even despair. They're a safe way for us to send out an emotional trial balloon, and if it doesn't go over well, we make it a joke and make you feel stupid for thinking it was ever something different.

Cultivating hope Practicing critical awareness Letting go of numbing and taking the edge off vulnerability, discomfort, and pain

Interestingly, research shows that in the short term, we tend to regret bad outcomes where we took action. However, when we reflect back over the long term, we more often regret the actions we didn't take—what we didn't do—and we think of those as missed opportunities.

I'd love to skip over the hard stuff, but it just doesn't work. We don't change, we don't grow, and we don't move forward without the work.

If what matters to us is what we're concerned about, then play and rest is important. If what matters to us is what other people think or say or value, then it's back to exhaustion and producing for self-worth. Today, I choose play and rest.

High lonesome is a sound or type of music in the bluegrass tradition. Its roots go back to Bill Monroe, Roscoe Holcomb, and the bluegrass region of Kentucky.

Painting done" means fully walking through my expectations of what the completed task will look like, including when it will be done, what I'll do with the information, how it will be used, the context, the consequences of not doing it, the costs—everything we can think of to paint a shared picture of the expectations. It's one of the most powerful tools we have.

but I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage. Heroics is often about putting our life on the line. Ordinary courage is about putting our vulnerability on the line. In today's world, that's pretty extraordinary.1

Courage sounds great , but we need to talk about how it requires us to let go of what other people think