Quotes from Norm MacDonald

With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.

We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.

Your worst and most dangerous enemy is the person that injures you under the pretensions of friendship.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

All that weak people learn from disappointment, is less confidence in future enterprise.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny.

I don't really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.

I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio. I'm trying to make sure the jokes are self-contained so they're accessible to everyone.