Quotes from Natasha Leggero

I grew up as a child actress, not a child star. I was an actress - big difference.

You can always tell an actor by the bored look in their eye whenever someone else is talking.

I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

I was raised Catholic in Rockford, Illinois. But I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore. Oh God, no.

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is the most afraid of getting ruffied? It's like relax. YOU can take the coaster off your drink. There are at least three of us in line ahead of you.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

Have you ever noticed that your ugliest friend is most afraid of being raped?

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

Getting worried there might not be enough talent in America to acommodate all these singing shows.

The only thing that makes me cry at weddings is the DJ's playlist.

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet?

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now.

The waiters in France could all be senators in the US.

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.

I'm not 'one of the guys.' I don't want to pretend to be one on stage. I'm not going to dress like a guy or carry myself like one.

When I was 23, I moved to Australia to be with this 43-year-old con artist I fell in love with.

The chasm between rich and poor is becoming larger, and I think it's interesting terrain to talk about and expose.

Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedians were old men in suits talking about their wives.

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life?

If you look at NBC, two of their most successful shows - '30 Rock' and 'Parks And Rec' - are written by women, produced by women, and I think that's the future. Women are the new men.

The corporations are shoving just the worst music down everybody's throats, and I think the result of that is that nobody has any taste. They have no bar as to what is good.