Quotes from Joseph Heller

Well, maybe it's true, Clevinger conceded unwillingly in a subdued tone. Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions to make it seem long. But in that event, who wants one? I do Dunbar told him. why? Clevinger asked. What else is there?

I don't want to make sacrifices. I want to make dough.

In fact, though the books came slowly, he was a novelist to his bootlaces, an avid narrator who couldn't stop the story once it had started, who felt the terrors of existence so acutely that he had to tell them and tell them until he'd made them something else.

Colonel Korn's rule was a stroke of genius, Colonel Korn explained in his report to Colonel Cathcart. Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did. Soon the only people attending were those who never asked questions, and the sessions were discontinued altogether, since Clevinger, the corporal and Colonel Korn agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything. Colonel

The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likeable. In three days no one could stand him.

Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was

It takes brains not to make money," Colonel Cargill wrote in one of the homiletic memoranda he regularly prepared for circulation over General Peckem's signature. "Any fool can make money these days and most of them do. But what about people with talent and brains? Name, for example, one poet who makes money.

In the morning he stepped from his tent looking haggard, fearful and guilt-ridden, an eaten shell of a human building rocking perilously on the brink of collapse.

Open your eyes, Clevinger. It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead

War ... it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.

Mindenkinek joga van azt tenni, amit nem tilt a törvény, márpedig azt nem tiltja a törvény, hogy magának hazudjanak.

Major de Coverley is a noble and wonderful person, and everyone admires him.' 'He's a silly old fool who really has no right acting like a silly young fool. Where is he today? Dead?

Why couldn't anybody understand that he was not really a freak but a normal, lonely adult trying to lead a normal, lonely adult life?

Death was irreversible, he suspected

Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity by this clause of Catch-22 and let a respectful whistle. 'That's some catch, that Catch-22,' he observed. 'It's the best there is,' agreed Doc Daneeka.

The soldier who saw everything twice nodded weakly and sank back on his bed. Yossarian nodded weakly too, eyeing his talented roommate with great humility and admiration. He knew he was in the presence of a master. His talented roommate was obviously a person to be studied and emulated. During the night, his talented roommate died, and Yossarian decided that he had followed him far enough.

Can't you stop by my tent on your way to the hospital and punch one of them in the nose for me?" he speculated aloud. "I've got four of them, and they're going to crowd me out of my tent altogether." "You know, something like that once happened to my whole tribe," Chief White Halfoat remarked

She slept for eighteen hours, while Nately dashed about the apartment all the next morning shushing everybody in sight, and when she woke up she was deeply in love with him. In the last analysis, that was all it took to win her heart - a good night's sleep.

Tudja, ez lehet a megoldás: dicsekedjünk azzal, amit szégyenlenünk kellene. Ez olyan trükk, ami, úgy látszik, mindig beválik.

Pislogva ébredt, kis fejfájással s szemét egy olyan világra nyitotta, amely maga volt a kotyogó káosz, az az minden a megszokott rendben volt.

It was miraculous. Each day he faced was another dangerous mission against mortality. And he had been surviving them for twenty-eight years.

What displeased Corporal Whitcomb most about the chaplain, apart from the fact that the chaplain believed in God, was his lack of initiative and aggressiveness.

Do you know how long a year takes when it's going away?' Dunbar repeated to Clevinger. 'This long.' He snapped his fingers. 'A second ago you were stepping into college with your lungs full of fresh air. Today you're an old man.