Quotes from Unknown

Happy birthday to a dear friend who will always have my support in lying about your age.

Happy Birthday from your only friend other than alcohol.

I'll always remember your birthday because it's around the same time as something more important than your birthday.

Sorry you're too old to stay out past 10:00 p.m. on your birthday.

It must feel good to see a birthday wish on Facebook from someone you will actually see at your birthday party.

I promise not to lip-sync when I sing you Happy Birthday.

It would be significantly easier to wish you a happy birthday if you were on Facebook.

I'm buying you the nicest birthday gift that post-Christmas clearance sales have to offer.

Sorry an entire year still wasn't enough time for me to buy you a birthday present.

Congratulations on not being remotely young enough to be picked for the Hunger Games.

I would buy you a birthday present but I didn't think you wanted it coming out of tonight's alcohol budget.

You don't need to be a royal fetus for me to be excited about your birthday.

Let's spend your winter birthday getting completely wasted on cold and flu medications.

You'll never guess what I got you for your birthday because I didn't get you anything for your birthday.

Here's hoping you forgot it was your birthday too.

Let's see Magic Mike for your birthday unless you'd rather objectify men in person.

I'd be much more into your birthday if it was my birthday.

Congratulations on looking like you only aged one year since your last birthday.

I'll wish you a happy birthday a day early since it's likely I won't think about you two days in a row.

May your birthday sex be twice as hot and half as painful as the sex in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Happy birthday to someone I hope is my friend even when we're too senile to remember each other's birthdays.

Happy final birthday according to North Korea.

Just wanted to be the first one to wish you a happy birthday so I can feel superior to your other well-wishers.

This is the perfect day to thank me for remembering your birthday.