Quotes from Byron Katie

It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem.

As long as you think that the cause of your problem is "out there"—as long as you think that anyone or anything else is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It

1. Is it true? 2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? 3. How do you react when you believe that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought?

Is it true?        2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?        3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?        4. Who would you be without the thought?

The most powerful spiritual practice is to hang out with the people who criticize you. You don't even have to do that physically, since they live right here in your head.

When my children ask me what they should do, I say, "I don't know, honey." Or, "Here's what I did in a similar situation, and it worked for me. And you can always know that I'm here to listen and that I'm always going to love you, whatever decision you make. You'll know what to do. And also, sweetheart, you can't do it wrong. I promise you that." I finally learned to tell my children the truth.

I wasn't always able to live the advice that I so generously held out for others to live. When I realized this, I found myself on equal ground with the people I had judged. I saw that my philosophy wasn't so easy for any of us to live. I saw that we're all doing the best we can.

That's like saying, "May my will be done, not God's will," rather than realizing, deeply, that God's will is your will at every moment. It's trying to get what you want, rather than wanting what you have, which is the only way you can ever be happy.

To make amends" means to right the perceived wrong. What I call "living amends" is more far-reaching. It applies not only to one particular incident but to all future incidents of that kind.

It's not up to my employees to accomplish what I want; it's up to me. I'm the boss. And the reason that firing you is so kind is that I've just released you from a torture chamber and allowed you to move into a space where you are qualified. And because of my clarity and kindness, the position is open for the right person to move into it. Anything less than that is masochism: it's unkind to you and to me.

What is an example that will prove that you aren't lovable? Rejection? If someone rejects you—and he could only do that because you don't match his beliefs about how he wants the world to be—it has nothing to do with you. Only an inflated ego could say that it had anything to do with you.

Reality doesn't wait for our agreement or approval. It is what it is. You can count on it. Gary:

When you act like a teacher, it's usually because you're afraid to be the student.

When you think that people should be kind to you, the reverse is true: You should be kind to them and to yourself

We always know what we're supposed to be doing – we're doing it.

I cannot need what I don't have, so I always have everything I need, and everyone does.

We're usually aware of the feeling before the thought.

Nothing external can disturb us. We suffer only when we want things to be different from what they are.

I knew I wasn't dealing with a person; I was dealing with concepts, and once I investigated the concepts about my mother, I had unraveled all my concepts about everyone and everything.

Everything happens at exactly the right moment.

I use the word to mean a natural state of peace and clarity.

Everything happens for me, not to me.

As I often say, if you argue with reality, you lose—but only 100 percent of the time.

I'm sorry I did this to you. It's all my fault. What can I do to make it right?