Quotes from Darynda Jones

I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt

Genius has its limitations. Insanity, not so much.

Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.

If I couldn't be a good example, I'd just have to be a horrible warning.

I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.

Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick.

Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.

guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? -Inspirational poster

This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad's SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window." The memory brought a smile to my face.

Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt

A Nuns Life: Chastity, poverty, and obedience. Wait, chastity?" BUMPER STICKER

If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I.

Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte

When life hands you lemons say, "Lemons? What else have you got?" - bumper sticker

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker

A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted.

Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.

You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.