Quotes from Dorothy Parker

Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain. And bolts the door against her heart, out wailing in the rain.

If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again, If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much, But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn…

I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.

Sometimes I think I'll give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on a stove and moan all day.

Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.

There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.

Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.

All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

And there was that poor sucker Flaubert rolling around on his floor for three days looking for the right word.

I never see that prettiest thing- A cherry bough gone white with Spring- But what I think, How gay 'twould be To hang me from a flowering tree.

It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.

Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!

Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Never complain, never explain.

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

I'll be the way I was when I first met him. Then maybe he'll like me again. I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe.

All I have to be thankful for in this world is that I was sitting down when my garter busted.

There must be courage; there must be no awe. There must be criticism, for humor, to my mind, is encapsulated in criticism. There must be a disciplined eye and a wild mind...There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.