Quotes from Jane Wagner

I worry whoever thought up the term 'quality control' thought if we didn't control it, it would get out of hand.

At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you do not understand, you are closer to understanding it all than at any other time.

See, the human mind is kind of like...a pinata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the pinata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

All my life I've wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work.

Frankly, goin' crazy was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't say it's for everybody; some people couldn't cope.

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu.

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.