Quotes from Ellie Kemper

There are some extremely acceptable male comedians out there: Joel Osteen, Abraham Lincoln, the man who played Phil Spector in HBO's 'Phil Spector.' But even those guys, while insightful and amusing, aren't exactly funny.

I guess it's easier to think badly and then be pleasantly surprised.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'

In Los Angeles, people dress with the deep and earnest hope that people will do nothing but stare at them.

I think I get certain pleasure from writing what I'm performing.

I think New Yorkers are some of the friendliest people in the world, but it just comes out in a different way. In a way where they're swearing at you.

I need to make sure that when I'm running out to the drugstore I'm not wearing a Biore strip or something. Not that I expect anyone to recognize me, but on the off chance they do, I just don't want to embarrass myself.

What's shocking to me is seeing people walking around with green juices in their hand when the weather's bad in New York. I couldn't think of anything more awful to have when it's sleeting outside. Like, 'Oh, I'm craving some liquified kale right now.'

If you're going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraeulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'

I am fully anticipating that something - perhaps many things - will not go according to plan on our actual wedding day. If some of the flowers are wilted, or there aren't enough vegetarian meals, or the priest calls me the wrong name, I will embrace these errors.

It took two months from the day my fiance proposed to my first Google search for 'wedding planning: how?' Now, let me interrupt myself here and share how much I hate using the word 'fiance.' It's so fancy, and it's hard not to sound like a jerk saying it. Which is why I will be using my own word for fiance: gloob.

The weekend after 'Kimmy' started streaming on Netflix, I did notice a definite difference in people on the street recognizing you. I think that's such a strange thing to happen. It's like, you asked for it, you went and put yourself in the public eye, so don't be surprised people recognize you, but that part can be strange.

I've participated in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon a couple of times, but only in the running portion.

I'm a little disappointed in myself because before getting pregnant, I resolved to do all these things during my pregnancy to nurse a healthy pregnancy. And so I'm finding in these final weeks that I didn't do any of them.

New York is like the weirdest city in the United States, in a great way, and Los Angeles is probably more similar to most of America.

I always have ice cream in the house. I have a bowl of it, and then a bit more. One of the greatest pleasures in my life is going back and getting a second half-bowl. The first bowl is just the prelude.

If I'm alone, I tend to cook for myself. I do a pretty good job of preparing healthful foods. My go-to is everything in a bowl like quinoa, avocado. Later in the day, scrambled eggs. I'm not a gourmet chef. I cook in bulk very well.

My painting teacher in high school used to say, 'I can't paint like I want to, but through practice I'll get better.' But I don't think that's true. I think sometimes you just can't paint.

It's interesting because with a lot of people who I've met in comedy, it seems not to matter what your background is. In terms of formal schooling - I feel like that's a nineteenth century term - but in terms of where you went to high school or college, or wherever, all that really is irrelevant, I have found, in comedy.

I love running. I've been running ever since middle school. In terms of clearing your head and restarting everything, I love running.

I have very sensitive skin, and so, whenever I can, I want to give it a rest. I'm, like, the moisturizing queen.

I joined an improv comedy group. Ours was named 'Quick Fire!' with an exclamation point. It was when I auditioned for that team and got on it and felt like... I'll just say I felt like I was good at it.

I loved 'Freaks and Geeks.' I don't know a better show.