Quotes from Helen Rowland

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

A man marries one woman to escape from many others, and then chases many others to forget he's married to one.

Woman's love -- a mirror in which a man beholds himself glorified, magnified and deified.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.

Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.

Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

A bachelor gets tangled up with a lot of women in order to avoid getting tied up to one.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.