Quotes from Helen Rowland

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

"Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near."

Flirting is the act of making a man feel pleased with himself.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Nobody is quite so blase and sophisticated as a boy of nineteen who is just recovering from a baby grand passion.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth — and endures all the rest.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son - and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.