Quotes from John Barrymore

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

A man must pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra often had to be subsidized.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

Busy yourselves with this, you damned walruses, while the rest of use proceed with the libretto.

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.

Dying is the last thing I will ever do.

The good die young, because they see it's no use living if you have got to be good.

You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone but sometimes it is a great relief.

The good die young — because they see it's no use living if you've got to be good.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

You can only be as good as you dare to be bad.

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning.

A man must properly pay the fiddler. In my case it so happened that a whole symphony orchestra had to be subsidized.

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Happiness sneaks through a door you didn't know that you left open.