Quotes from Anonymous

Friends are folks who excuse you when you have made a fool of yourself.

With friends like you - who needs enemas.

As the psychiatrist said to the cannibal at the end of a session: "Your problem is easy you're just fed up with people."

The fool who knows he is a fool is for that very reason wise. The fool who thinks himself wise is the greatest fool of all.

I hope you live to be as old as your jokes.

My wife is the most wonderful woman in the world and that's not just my opinion - it's hers.

Why did God make man before he made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.

Remember the past, plan for the future, but live for today, because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.

A mark.... is left when you complete your internal quest when you leave........

Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel.

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying.

A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

A friend will know you better in the first minute they see you, than your acquaintance will in a thousand years.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes.

A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight, And walks with you in the shadows.

My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved away by standing still.

A friend is someone who reaches for your hand... but touches your heart.

As the rest of the world is walking out the door, your best friend's are the ones walking in.