Quotes from Louise Rennison

Dad has brought me a cup of tea in bed this morning! I said, 'Vati, why are you waking me up in the middle of the night? Are you on fire?

Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes!

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior.

I could have quite literally snogged until the cows came home. And when they came home I would have shouted, "WHAT HAVE YOU COWS COME HOME FOR? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M SNOGGING, YOU STUPID HERBIVORES???

He said, "Hi, gorgeous," which I think is nice. I admire honesty.

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

I like the idea that I can talk to any teenage girls. You know, in a language that makes sense to them.

Everyone is so obsessed with themselves nowadays that they have no time for me.

He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.

He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit. Dave said, A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.

I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.

Oh Blimey O'Reilly's pantyhose...what is the point of Shakespeare? I know he is a genius and so on, but he does rave on. What light doth through yonder window break? It's the bloody moon, for God's sake, Will, get a grip!!

He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty.

Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?

Anyway, then it said on the news, 'And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten.' I looked down at Jas and said, 'Ooer.' Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.

If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!

Here is another marvy glimpse into the gothic basement that I call my mind.

Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.

I wanted to kill her and make her eat her fringe. And her knickers.

Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.

You are not ashamed of our luuurve, are you, Jas?' 'Look, shut up, people might hear.' 'What do you mean, the people who live in the telephone?

Look, I can't go out with you, because...because...because I'm a lesbian.

Biology The film turns out to be about bees. It is a film about a bee center. How crap is this going to be? An hour later That was the best thing I have seen for ages. We made Miss Wilson rewind the bit where the two queens were having a bitch fight.

I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.