Quotes from Sam Ewing

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

A man can please his wife with a box of candy, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and make her suspicious with a gold bracelet.

It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.

Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Don't drive as if you own the road; drive as if you own the car.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.