Quotes from Sholom Aleichem

When the cow goes to pasture," says my mother, "it forgets to say good-bye.

You know what, Mendl? Listen to your wife, tell Odessa where it can go, and come home to Kasrilevke.

Who says you need luck to be lucky?" my mother answered, looking at me. Search me what that means.

There's a limit to everything; even chicken soup with kreplach can get to be too much.

Second, my dear husband, I pronounce you a certified lunatic. You might as well run naked through the streets!

Never let a husband off the leash. Not even a carpenter knows where the chips will fly.

I tell you, my husband, I've put up with as much as I can. Either you get yourself home in a jiffy and act like a human being—or else! As I wish my enemies an early death, so I am from the bottom of my heart, Your truly faithful wife

But a lot you care when all you can think of is your fine Yehupetz ladies. They should gash themselves on their diamonds and bleed to death!

Just be careful, Mendl, that you don't turn into such a great success that I have to send you your carfare again.

Pinye said Canada was in Canada. To be exact, it was in America. That is, Canada and America were the same place, with a difference

The sky is the limit. Not even Kahnegi, Vendehbilt, or Rahknfelleh knew how far they would go.

Thinking of the dead," says my mother, "makes you wonder about the living …

My friend Mendl and I once ate three haht dawgz apiece and could have polished off a few more if we had the cash …but that's not what I wanted to tell you.

And you have three children, bless them. "Remember your own and you'll forget the next man's," my mother says.

My mother says dumplings in a dream are a dream and not dumplings.

Meanwhile, I'm having stomach trouble. It shouldn't happen to you but all that iced cream has done me no good.

You say you're going like a house afire, Mendl? Why don't you jump into the flames! I wouldn't come see you in Boiberik if you were on your deathbed!

Playing nuts is a game like any other, neither better than tops, nor worse than cards. The game is played in various ways. There are 'holes' and 'bank' and 'caps.' But every game finishes up in the same way. One boy loses, another wins. And, as always, he who wins is a clever fellow, a smart fellow, a good fellow.

To go to the synagogue with one's father on the Passover eve - is there in the world a greater pleasure than that? What is it worth to be dressed in new clothes from head to foot, and to show off before one's friends? Then the prayers themselves - the first Festival evening prayer and blessing.

Without love our life is ... a ship without a rudder ... like a body without a soul.

Love is a taste of paradise.

Gossip is nature's telephone.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tradegy for the poor.

A bachelor is a man who comes to work each morning from a different direction.