Quotes from Lemony Snicket

Except people who have no respect for the alphabet! And they're not here! Are they?" "No," Klaus said. "We have a great deal of respect for the alphabet." "I should say so!" the captain cried. "Klaus Baudelaire disrespect the alphabet? Why, it's unthinkable! Aye! It's illegal! It's impossible! It's not true! How dare you say so! No—you didn't say so! I apologize! One thousand pardons! Aye!

Don't you see?' he asked. 'I'm not just the island's facilitator. I'm the island's parent. I keep this library far away from the people under my care, so that they will never be disturbed by the world's terrible secrets.

Theodora glared at me, but Mrs. Murphy Sallis gave me a brief smile and offered me her hand, which was as smooth and soft as old lettuce.

Don't talk nonsense," Esmé said crossly. "If we give money to poor people, then they won't be poor anymore.

Keep your eyes open! Look out below! Look out above! Look out for spies! Look out for one another! Look out! Aye! Be very careful! Be very aware! Be very much! Take a break! No—keep going! Stay awake! Calm down! Cheer up! Keep climbing! Keep your shirt on! Aye!

Telling yourself that something does not matter is one of the loneliest things you can do, because you only say it, of course, about things that matter very much But often, and this is the lonely part, they only mat- ter to you.

I'd never forget Sunny! Never in a million years! Not that I will live that long! Particularly because I don't exercise very much! But I don't like exercising, so it's worth it!

I was tired of working in the lumber industry," Phil said. "I was sure I could find a better job, and look at me now—cook on a dilapidated submarine. Life keeps on getting better and better." "You always were an optimist," Klaus said.

There's a lot that doesn't make sense

but he was not looking at the view beneath him. He was looking beside him, where Violet Baudelaire was sitting

Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier.

It is curious to look at one's family and try to imagine how they look to strangers.

The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things

In the days that followed, the Baudelaire orphans had pits in their stomachs. In Sunny's case it was understandable, because when Klaus had divided the peach, she had gotten the part with the pit.

Sometimes, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation. "I hate everything about our lives right now, Klaus," she said, "but we have to keep our chin up." This was an expression the children's father had used, and it meant "try to stay cheerful." -P. 32

Colette picked up a piece of the bread and stared at it suspiciously. "This toast feels raw," she said. "Is it safe to eat raw toast?" "Of course not," Hugo said. "I bet that baby is trying to poison us." "Actually

If you spent less time reading and more time thinking about lumber, you'd care more about money and less about people!

Sunny Baudelaire

I know those kids!" he cried. "They're in my store right now! I just gave them some muffins!" "You gave muffins to murderers?" Lou said. "That's not right, Milt. Criminals should be punished, not fed pastries.

Sooner or later, everyone's story has an unfortunate event or two--a schism or a death, a fire or a mutiny, the loss of a home or the destruction of a tea set.

You and I, of course, would never do this to any of our grieving acquaintances, but it is a sad truth in life that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed. - P. 34

There was a philosopher who said that all of life is just shadows. He said that people were just sitting in a cave, watching shadows on the cave wall. Aye - shadows of something much bigger and grander than themselves.

You might compare your pimple situation to that of someone who was being eaten by a bear, and when you looked in the mirror at your ugly pimple, you could say to yourself, "Well, at least I'm not being eaten by a bear.

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