Quotes from Lemony Snicket

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.

All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.

you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.

Well-read people are less likely to be evil.

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.

The sad truth is the truth is sad.

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.

It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

I don't know if you've ever noticed this, but first impressions are often entirely wrong.

If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed," but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!

The moral of Snow White is never eat apples.

It is likely I will die next to a pile of things I was meaning to read.

Taking one's chances is like taking a bath, because sometimes you end up feeling comfortable and warm, and sometimes there is something terrible lurking around that you cannot see until it is too late and you can do nothing else but scream and cling to a plastic duck.

If you have ever lost a loved one, then you know exactly how it feels. And if you have not, then you cannot possibly imagine it.