Quotes from Lemony Snicket

God made everything out of nothing, but sometimes the nothingness shows through.

mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children.

One of the most difficult things to think about in life is one's regrets. Something will happen to you, and you will do the wrong thing, and for years afterward, you will wish you had done something different.

The Big Peruvian Book of Small Peruvian Snakes.

There are times when one feels stuck in life, no matter how many wonderful shops are around or how much sky is nearby. The world can be wide open around you, but you can feel Closed Around the World

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter.

I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong.

And even the litter that was thrown out the window of Olaf's car—the clearest sign that evil people have driven by—was picked up off the road long before my work began.

Hay tantos milagros en el mundo que apenas pueden contarse, o que hay tan pocos que apenas vale la pena mencionarlos

Wicked people never have time for reading

It is always tedious when someone says that if you don't stop crying, they will give you something to cry about, because if you are crying then you already have something to cry about, and so there is no reason for them to give you anything additional to cry about, thank you very much.

You could make anything boring, Mimi! You're like a magic wand of boring!" "Well, you're like a magic wand of bad breath!" "I get bad breath because I eat what you cook!

the famous ichnologist and Josephine's brother-in-law. But all that's ancient history.

Olaf smiled at them the way Uncle Monty's Mongolian Meansnake would smile when a white mouse was placed in its cage each day for dinner.

I'm sorry we made you come all the way to our rooms just to take us right down the hall," Charles said. "It's my pleasure," Klaus said. As I'm sure you know, when people say, "It's my pleasure," they usually mean something along the lines of, "There's nothing on Earth I would rather do less

The moral of the story is that if you tell yourself you can do something, then you can actually do it, a moral easily disproved if you tell yourself that you can eat nine pints of ice cream in a single sitting, or that you can shipwreck yourself on a distant island simply by setting off in a rented canoe with holes sawed in it.

The first rule is about bewilderment," the author said.

There is a pair of snakes who have learned to drive a car so recklessly that they would run you over in the street and never stop to apologize. But

Wicked people never have time for reading," Dewey said. "It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.

You're a marshmallow, Carmelita.

still other people think that destiny is an invisible force, like gravity, or a fear of paper cuts, that guides everyone throughout their lives, whether they are embarking on a mysterious errand, doing a treacherous deed, or deciding that a book they have begun reading is too dreadful to finish. In the opera La

It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair.

in a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be hard to stay true to one's philosophical and literary principles.

The siblings' father stood in the doorway of the library and said something they never forgot. "Children," he said, "There is no worse sound in the world than somebody who cannot play the violin who insists on doing so anyway.