Quotes from Lemony Snicket

Goo goo," Sunny said, which meant something along the lines of "I'm going to pretend I'm a helpless baby, instead of answering your question.

The central theme of Anna Karenina," he said, "is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy.

Perhaps one night, when you were very small, someone tucked you into bed and read you a story called "The Little Engine That Could," and if so then you have my profound sympathies, as it is one of the most tedious stories on Earth. The story probably put you right to sleep, which is the reason it is read to children, so I will remind you that the story involves the engine of a train that for some reason has the ability to think and talk.

There is the medical definition of the word "lousy," meaning "infested with lice," and this definition of "lousy" has not appeared in my work at all, although as Count Olaf's hygiene gets worse and worse I may find occasion to use it.

As I'm sure you know, "labor" is the term for the process by which a woman gives birth, and it is a Herculean task, a phrase which here means "something you would rather not do on a library raft floating on a flooding coastal shelf.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

Czasem wystarczy powiedzie? g?o?no, ?e si? czego? nienawidzi, i us?ysze?, ?e kto? si? z nami zgadza, aby poczu? si? lepiej nawet w najgorszej sytuacji.

because nobody can exactly agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

gdy siÄ™ czÅ'owiek porzÄ…dnie i dÅ'ugo wypÅ'acze, na ogóÅ' robi mu siÄ™ lepiej, nawet jeÅ›li okolicznoÅ›ci nie zmieniÅ'y siÄ™ ani na jotÄ™.

Excerpt from A Series of Unfortunate Events #3: The Wide Window

In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance it can be difficult to stay true to one's philosophical and literary principles." VFD

Ô Mort, vieux capitaine, il est temps! levons l'ancre! Ce pays nous ennuie, ô Mort! Appareillons! Si le ciel et la mer sont noirs comme de l'encre, Nos coeurs que tu connais sont remplis de rayons!

Per esempio, una volta amavo una donna che per vari motivi non poteva sposarmi. Se me l'avesse detto di persona naturalmente sarei stato molto triste, ma alla fine mi sarebbe passata. Invece, lei scelse di scrivere un libro di duecento pagine, diffondendosi su ogni singolo dettaglio della cattiva notizia, prolungando così all'inverosimile la mia tristezza.

Adiar um choro não faz sentido. Tristeza é como um crocodilo violento cercando você. Só dá para ignorá-lo enquanto ele não está devorando tudo ao seu redor

If you told me to describe myself in one word, it would be: not very good at following directions.

Vertical Flame Diversion—

I can compare the pencil I am using to write these words (and these words, and these and these) to my own life, because it is sometimes sharp and sometimes dull, and because it is getting shorter and shorter the more I use it, and because even when I try to erase things you can still see the marks they left behind.

But by immersing themselves in their favorite reading topics, they felt far away from their predicament, as if they had escaped.

Los libros sobre leyes son muy largos, muy aburridos y muy difíciles. Es una de las razones por las que muchos abogados ganan tanto dinero. El dinero es un incentivo —la palabra «incentivo» significa aquí «recompensa ofrecida para que hagas algo que no quieres hacer»Ã¢â'¬â€ para leer libros largos, aburridos y difíciles.

It is extremely rude, of course, for an audience to talk during a concert performance

A library is like an island on a vast sea of ignorance.

reason most operating theaters have been closed down or have been turned into restaurants.

A cranky old woman who makes good doughnuts is better than a cranky old woman who doesn't.

Red-breasted robin?" a red-breasted robin might repeat in astonishment. "That's not my name. And why are you focusing on my breast? That's inappropriate.