Quotes from Lori Gottlieb

Could it be that by protecting our kids from unhappiness as children, we're depriving them of happiness as adults?

Marriage isn't a passion-fest; it's more like a partnership formed to run a very small, mundane, and often boring nonprofit business. And I mean this in a good way.

We can't have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.

But part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself—to let go of the limiting stories you've told yourself about who you are so that you aren't trapped by them, so you can live your life and not the story you've been telling yourself about your life.

We tend to think that the future happens later, but we're creating it in our minds every day. When the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it. And having the future taken away is the mother of all plot twists.

Relationships in life don't really end, even if you never see the person again. Every person you've been close to lives on somewhere inside you. Your past lovers, your parents, your friends, people both alive and dead (symbolically or literally)--all of them evoke memories, conscious or not.

peace. it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

Don't judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don't be afraid of the truth.

It's impossible to get to know people deeply and not come to like them.

Avoidance is a simple way of coping by not having to cope.

The opposite of depression isn't happiness, but vitality.

Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.

If the queen had balls, she'd be the king." If you go through life picking and choosing, if you don't recognize that "the perfect is the enemy of the good," you may deprive yourself of joy.

But many people come to therapy seeking closure. Help me not to feel. What they eventually discover is that you can't mute one emotion without muting the others. You want to mute the pain? You'll also mute the joy.

Just because she sends you guilt doesn't mean you have to accept delivery.

Happiness (t) = w0+ w1 ?t?jCRj+ w2 ?t?jEVj+ w3 ?t?jRPEj Which all boils down to: Happiness equals reality minus expectations.

at some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past.

What people don't like to think about is that you can do everything right—in life or in a treatment protocol—and still get the short end of the stick.

Losing somebody you love is such a profoundly lonely experience, something only you endure in your own particular way.

Honesty is stronger medicine than sympathy, which may console but often conceals. —Gretel Ehrlich

The things we protest against the most are often the very things we need to look at.

I remember a quote from Einstein: "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.

The nature of life is change and the nature of people is to resist change." It was a paraphrase of something he'd read that had resonated with him both personally and as a therapist, he told me, because it was a theme that informed nearly every person's struggles.

Your feelings don't have to mesh with what you think they should be," he explained. "They'll be there regardless, so you might as well welcome them because they hold important clues.