Quotes from Joey Comeau

We are terrible for each other, and, yes, we are a disaster. But tell me your heart doesn't race for a hurricane or a burning building. I'd rather die terrified than live forever.

There is no subtle way to mention you miss the curve of someone's ass.

In the end it never works out. You are who you are, no matter what you pretend at the beginning. So I'm not pretending. I drink to ignore my problems. I spend more time with my computer than with my friends. I am angry and lonely, but I can wash dishes just fine. I'm being honest. Please don't be an asshole about this.

I'm not really like a cop at all. I haven't got any actual authority. If someone does show up to do anything bad, I am not allowed to touch them or interfere with them in anyway. I'm a scarecrow. I'm like one of those plastic owls that are supposed to scare away the pigeons, but that the pigeons shit all over.

There's something not quite Christian about it," Tony said. He sat back in his chair and looked up to where his Bible sat on the shelf. "I can't put my finger on why exactly, but it doesn't seem right for a couple of young ladies to be out there in the middle of the night, obsessing over their telescopes.

Live for today, you retarded little shit. The end is near.

All I ever wanted was love, until you loved me.

Wait, wait, wait," he said, and everyone stopped to listen. "This is about those children I murdered, isn't it?" He laughed. "Listen," he said. "If you spare the axe, you spoil the child.

And when our sun explodes and we are all destroyed, we'll be rocks and chunks of I am not sure what, and maybe we'll rain down on somewhere else.

Truth and Beauty are wonderful words but shrapnel is shrapnel and at the end of the day I am alone with the things I have done.

Wait," I say. "Aren't soulmates supposed to be perfect? What if you find yours and shes not a virgin, not even a girl? What if he's a fixer upper? What if he has an STD?

Goodbye forever" is the perfect joke, because forever is impossible. Every night I say it, and every morning I see my father again. Forever is meaningless. Tough talk, an empty threat. Forever is our secret handshake. Our code word. Our decoder ring. Not a measurement of time at all. I know this because "Goodbye Forever" comes easily. The passage of actual time is much more difficult.

I have loved since you. But when the new paint gets scratched, there you are underneath.

I want something from her, but I don't know what it is. I guess that means sex.

Monogamy is defined by what it is not, just as much as by what it is," I say, "We couldn't have monogamy without infidelity the same as we couldn't have sad without happy, or down without up. By fucking around in secret, within a relationship defined as monogamous, aren't I just playing the devil in monogamy's Sunday school pageant?

Oh, thank goodness you're here," the priest said. "I think this poor boy tried to kill himself with a sledgehammer.

Look at that house, so quiet and willing. If there is a good way to die, that's it out there. Graceful and calm in the face of inevitability. It feels generous, almost. Beauty and reassurances are not for ourselves. Of course death will come. And of course there is no good way to die. There is no peace. A weight will not lift. A leaf will not fall. But we can pretend.

You were my everything, which, upon reflection, was probably the problem.

I don't want to die alone, which I guess means I don't want to die.

I get scared thinking about the yawning void of space and the maddening smallness of our solar system in it, and the smallness of our planet in that solar system and of my own voice in the dark.

Looking back on that day, I can't help but wonder: what if I had brought more bread for the ducks? Did I bring this on myself?

I have no use for before and after pictures. I can't remember starting, and I am never done.

I hate trying to put my desire into words when my body knows exactly what to say. Come home.

The world isn't going to end just because we've done everything wrong. Though, that would be easier.