Quotes About Compassion

I define judgments—both positive and negative—as life-alienating communication.

The ability to offer empathy to people in stressful situations can defuse potential violence.

allows our natural compassion to flourish. It guides us to reframe the way we express ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what we are observing, feeling, and needing, and what we are requesting to enrich our lives. NVC fosters deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.

When people are upset, they often need empathy before they can hear what is being said to them.

Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity." — THE BUDDHA

Participant: Why, what do you mean?

Participant: Well, you're so intelligent.

in a more loving manner, and those two things you said provide the direction I was looking for.

It does not surprise me to hear that there is considerably less violence in cultures where people think in terms of human needs than in cultures where people label one another as "good" or "bad" and believe that the "bad" ones deserve to be punished.

I was struck by the crucial role of language and our use of words. I have

Aggression is built into the ego system, which totally focuses on "I, me, and mine" whenever conflict arises.

It is my belief that all such analyses of other human beings are tragic expressions of our own values and needs.

In most cases, however, another step needs to take place before we can expect the other party to connect with what is going on in us. Because it will often be difficult for others to receive our feelings and needs in such situations, if we want them to hear us we would need first to empathize with them. The more we empathize with what leads them to behave in the ways that are not meeting our needs, the more likely it is that they will be able to reciprocate afterwards.

How do we learn to give from the heart in such a way that giving feels like receiving? When things are being done in a human way, I don't think you can tell the giver from the receiver. It's only when we interact with one another in what I call a judging, or judgmental, manner, that giving isn't much fun.

When we give from the heart, we do so out of the joy that springs forth whenever we willingly enrich another person's life. This kind of giving benefits both the giver and the receiver. The receiver enjoys the gift without worrying about the consequences that accompany gifts given out of fear, guilt, shame, or desire for gain. The giver benefits from the enhanced self-esteem that results when we see our efforts contributing to someone's well-being.

But, if you want to feel better, I'd like you to clarify what you would like people to do to make life more wonderful for you.

It was these two things you said.

MBR: Ah, so it's my saying those two things that you appreciate.

Participant: Hopeful and relieved.

Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. We often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

MBR: And now I'd like to know what needs of yours were fulfilled by my saying those two things.

When our consciousness is focused on what we need, we are naturally stimulated toward creative possibilities for how to get that need met. In contrast, the moralistic judgements we use when blaming ourselves tend to obscure such possibilities and perpetuate a state of self-punishment.

Hearing all three pieces of information—what I did, how she felt, and what needs of hers were fulfilled—I could then celebrate the appreciation with her.

Temos quatro opções quando escutamos uma mensagem difícil: 1. Culpar a nós mesmos; 2. Culpar os outros; 3. Perceber nossos próprios sentimentos e necessidades; 4. Perceber os sentimentos e necessidades dos outros.