Quotes About Boundaries

The only limitations on you are the ones you've placed on yourself.

I saw people who had gotten so absorbed in other people's problems they didn't have time to identify or solve their own. These were people who had cared so deeply, and often destructively, about other people that they had forgotten how to care about themselves. The codependents felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack.

the non-drinking person in a relationship with an alcoholic got just as out of control, was in just as much pain, and needed just as much healing as the alcoholic. Al-Anon

When you're doing what's right for you, it's okay to say it once, simply, and then refuse to discuss anything further.

Do you know you have a right to become as healthy as you want, no matter what your family does or doesn't do? Do you know you can love

Anger, rage, complaining, and whining are clues to boundaries we need to set.

Boundaries are to take care of ourselves, not to control others. If we set a boundary not to be around practicing alcoholics, it isn't to force Harvey to stop drinking. Harvey can choose to drink or not drink. Our boundary gives us a guideline to make our choice—whether we want to be around Harvey.

We're so careful to see that no one gets hurt. No one, that is, but ourselves. —AL-ANON MEMBER

Surrender to love, without allowing people to control us or keep us from caring for ourselves. Start by surrendering to love for yourself.

Learn the words: "This is what I need from you. This is what I want from you.

LOW SELF-WORTH Codependents

Each person's feelings are his or her own. Nobody makes

Sometimes codependents were blamed; sometimes they were ignored; sometimes they were expected to magically shape up (an archaic attitude that has not worked with alcoholics and doesn't help codependents either).

Melody Beattie

Forgiveness comes in time—in its own time—if we are striving to take care of ourselves. Don't let other people use this principle against us. Don't let other people help us feel guilty because they think we should forgive someone, and we are either not ready or believe forgiveness is not the appropriate solution.

You can spoil your fun, your day, your life—that's your business—but I won't let you spoil my fun, my day, or my life.

OBSESSION Codependents

I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment.

Not being centered in ourselves and not feeling emotionally secure with ourselves may trap us.3 We may become afraid to terminate relationships that are dead and destructive. We may allow people to hurt and abuse us, and that is never in our best interest.

Detachment is based on the premises that everyone is responsible for themselves, that we can't solve problems that aren't ours to solve, and that worrying doesn't help.

We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves.

We aren't the people who "make things happen." Codependents are the people who consistently, and with a great deal of effort and energy, try to force things to happen.

often seek love from people incapable of loving. believe

Maybe we don't need to go deeper into our codependency. We can, instead, march forward into our destinies. We can remember and practice all we've learned about addictions, codependency, and abuse. With compassion and boundaries, we need to commit fully to loving God, ourselves, and others. We need to commit fully to trusting God, ourselves, and our process.