Quotes About Attachment

I think being with a person is better than caring about them. I cared about them. I cared about them more than their relatives did, and I didn't care about them at all.

What happened was private. I was in it with Rose. She had hurt me grievously and now I was forever attached. I was in it now with all the women in the world. I walked home glad. I will die, I thought with a bounce in my step. I'm whole. Not whole like anyone else, but whole like me. Painful, but simple. It was very simple now.

You can't get sentimental about houses. Or bodies. They're just, I don't know, the Tupperware of the soul.

My feelings were hurt. Once I started I couldn't seem to let it go. Be strange if the person who matters most in the whole world couldn't hurt your feelings, wouldn't it?

All I'd wanted to be when I grew up was yours.

It is a very difficult secret to understand that when we do not want to possess another selfishly, he or she will always love us. It is when we do not want to possess, when we do not make demand after demand, that the relationship will last.

The body is not me; it is only the jacket which I wear. When this jacket is torn and tattered, the time has come for me to throw it away and put on a new jacket. Sri Krishna asks, "What is there to grieve about? What is so tragic about putting on a new jacket? Do you want to keep an old jacket that lets in cold air, makes you uncomfortable, and can no longer be used to serve others?

Perhaps you had an overprotective, needy caretaker who really wanted a child very dependent and never able to leave. Or the caretaker's own sense of strength or self-worth was bolstered by being stronger and so needed.

priority. Some overeat to become unattractive, some overstudy or overtrain so they have no free time, some pick one boy early and hang on to him for protection.

The bottom line is that in those first years you either learned to trust the other, and the outer world generally, or you didn't.

Since only about 50 to 60 percent of the population enjoyed a secure attachment in childhood (a shocking statistic, really), those of you HSPs who tend to be very cautious about close relationships (avoidant), or very intense in them (anxious-ambivalent), can still consider yourselves quite normal. But your responses to relationships are powerful because there is so much unfinished business in that department.

We all go out programmed in some way: to please and cling to the first kind person who promises to love and protect us; to find the perfect parent and worship that person totally; to be extremely careful of attaching to anyone; to attach to someone just like the person who did not want us the first time (to see if we can change them this time) or who insisted we never grow up; or just to find another safe harbor like the one we enjoyed as children.

So unless this section of the chapter is distressing you, stop and take some time to think about your infant/body's first caretaker and the similarities between that early caretaking and how you care for yourself now.

love is a force in human psychology that never disappears.

Every woman wants to be first to someone sometime in her life and that desire is the explanation for many strange things women do.

I cannot go to bed tonight without a word to you. I felt a little as though a part of me was leaving tonight. You have grown so much to be a part of my life that it is empty without you.

The hard part of loving is that one has to learn so often to let go of those we love, so they can do things, so they can grow, so they can return to us with an even richer, deeper love.

So afterward, when you no longer love him, it bothers you just to think that you once wanted him.

Is it so easy—I thought—to die in the life of the people we can't live without?

You can be hurt only if you love someone. But I don't love anyone.

felt that if I ran away with the others I would leave with her something of mine that she would never give back.

she theorized that a woman without love for her origins is lost.

Uno ti può fare del male solo se vuoi bene a qualcuno. Ma io non voglio bene più a nessuno.

Maybe I should erase Lila from myself like a drawing from the blackboard, I thought, for, I think, the first time. I felt fragile, exposed, I couldn't spend my time following her or discovering that she was following me, either way feeling diminished. I immediately went to find her.