Quotes About Author

Self-esteem is different than conceit. Conceit is the weirdest disease in the world. It makes everyone sick except the one who has it.

Im sorry I wasn't the type of guy you were looking for but if you give me the chance to prove myself, I promise you that you wouldn't regret it.

There's nothing more solemn than truth. There's no greater grievance to a tomb than hypocrisy, or a greater tribute to death than truth

Science adjusts its views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation, so that belief can be preserved.

Statistics are used much like a drunk uses a lamppost: for support, not illumination.

I do not know how to teach philosophy without becoming a disturber of established religion

It is strange that the years teach us patience; that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.

It is vain to talk of the interest of the community, without understanding what is the interest of the individual

In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm your man.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.

None can love freedom heartily but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license which never hath more scope than under tyrants

Freedom granted only when it is known beforehand that its effects will be beneficial is not freedom

I am old enough to know that victory is often a thing deferred, and rarely at the summit of courage... What is at the summit of courage, I think, is freedom. The freedom that comes with the knowledge that no earthly think can break you.

Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty

Criticism of government finds sanctuary in several portions of the 1st Amendment. It is part of the right of free speech. It embraces freedom of the press.

Hey baby, feel my sweater. You feel that? That's boyfriend material.

Sometimes I wonder if MEN have any INTELLIGENCE at all...because more often than not, they make decisions with THE HEAD in their PANTS not THE HEAD on their SHOULDERS!

You are the definition of a squirrel... your only happy when you have nuts in your mouth

Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.

Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes you a pedophile. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit here and get lectured by a pervert.

Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to bed with Martin Luther.