Quotes About Self-worth

If the goal is authenticity and they don't like me, I'm okay. If the goal is being liked and they don't like me, I'm in trouble.

Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect. Prove.

Finding someone to put down, judge, or criticize becomes a way to get out of the web or call attention away from our box. If you're doing worse than I am at something, I think, my chances of surviving are better.

I think these books have resonated so strongly with people for two simple reasons: We're sick of being afraid and we're tired of hustling for our self-worth. We

The majority of shame researchers agree that the difference between shame and guilt is best understood as the differences between "I am bad" (shame) and "I did something bad" (guilt).

The solution is getting totally clear on the people whose opinions actually matter.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.

Children who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad) struggle mightily with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. Using shame to parent teaches children that they are not inherently worthy of love. Shame

Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer.

Shame loves prerequisites. Our if/when worthiness list easily doubles as the gremlins' to-do list.

We don't judge people when we feel good about ourselves.

When we compare, we want to be the best or have the best of our group. The comparison mandate becomes this crushing paradox of "Fit in and stand out!" It's not be yourself and respect others for being authentic, it's "Fit in, but win." I want to swim the same workout as you, and beat you at it.

People learn how to treat us based on how they see us treating ourselves. If I don't put value on my work or my time, neither will the person I'm helping. Boundaries are a function of self respect and self love.

Perfectionism is a hustle.

Thick skin doesn't work anymore. I want to be transparent and translucent. For that to work, I won't own other people's shortcomings and criticisms. I won't put what you say about me on my load.

Hubris is an inflated sense of one's own innate abilities that is tied more to the need for dominance than to actual accomplishments. It

What if we're normal and quiet and happy? Does that count? I guess the answer to this is only yes if it counts to us. If what matters to us is what we're concerned about, then play and rest is important. If what matters to us is what other people think or say or value, then it's back to exhaustion and producing for self-worth.

A sense of worthiness inspires us to be vulnerable, share openly, and persevere. Shame keeps us small, resentful, and afraid.

the hustle for worthiness.

Comparison is the thief of happiness." I can't tell you how many times I'm feeling so good about myself and my life and my family, and then in a split second it's gone because I consciously or unconsciously start comparing myself to other people. As

The most difficult part of our stories is often what we bring to them—what we make up about who we are and how we are perceived by others. Yes, maybe we lost our job or screwed up a project, but what makes that story so painful is what we tell ourselves about our own self-worth and value.

Children who use more shame self-talk (I am bad) versus guilt self-talk (I did something bad) struggle mightily with issues of self-worth and self-loathing. Using shame to parent teaches children that they are not inherently worthy of love.

Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Comparison is the thief of happiness.