Quotes About Parenting

I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring to it.

Birth control that really works: Every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

The only thing I've ever wanted for my kids is that they're happy, and that they're out of the house. And I'll tell you what, happy ain't even that important.

Kids are cute, but they're so rude. I was taking a shower, when my daughter came in and said, "Gosh Mom, I hope when I grow up my breasts are nice and long like yours."

I've got three kids. I had one with the birth control pill, one with a diaphragm, and another with the IUD. I don't know what happened to my IUD, but I have my suspicions. That kid picks up HBO.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.

Mothers, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys,

There are three options for dealing with those unsolved problems: Plan A refers to solving a problem unilaterally, through the imposition of adult will. Plan B involves solving a problem collaboratively. Plan C involves setting aside an unsolved problem, at least for now. If you intend to follow the guidance provided in this book, the Plans—especially Plan B—are your future.

if the punishments a child has already received for their concerning behaviors haven't put an end to these behaviors, it must be because the punishments didn't cause the child enough pain. So, they add more pain.

QUESTION: What if my child and I agree on a solution and then she won't do what she agreed to? ANSWER: As you've read, that's usually a sign that the solution wasn't as realistic and mutually satisfactory as you may have first thought. That's not a catastrophe, just a reminder that the first solution to a problem often doesn't get the job

If your child isn't following through, it's probably not because she won't but because she can't.

With Plan A, you're trying to solve the problem through the use of power. Power causes conflict. If you teach power, you'll get power back. In other words, being unilateral is a good way to get your kid to respond in kind.

The problem is not that caregivers sometimes use Plan A. The problem is that caregivers use Plan A a lot and stick with it even when it's not working.

The goal of the Empathy step is to gather information from your child to understand what's making it difficult for them to meet a certain expectation. If you don't gather that information, the problem will remain unsolved. Just like the rest of us, kids have legitimate concerns: hunger, fatigue, fear, the desire to buy or do certain things, the tendency to avoid things that are scary or that make them uncomfortable or at which they don't feel competent.

Kids who are accustomed to having their concerns dismissed tend to be far less receptive to hearing the concerns of their caregivers. Over time, such kids also become far less receptive to talking to their parents.

I've noticed that it's been difficult for you to stick with the thirty-minute time limit on playing video games. What's up?

Strategy #1: Reflective listening—simply saying back to the child whatever they just said to you—often followed by clarifying statements, like "How so?" or "I don't quite understand" or "I'm confused" or "Can you say more about that?" or "What do you mean?" This is your default drilling strategy, and the one you'll be using most often.

by making appropriate, corrective statements to set the record straight ("Dad, I don't think that's true at all"), a kid with concerning behaviors may not have those skills and may therefore become extremely frustrated in the face of these inaccuracies.

Some adults, having now made some headway toward understanding their kids' concerns, have difficulty resisting the temptation to revert to form by being dismissive or offering solutions, thereby ending the problem-solving process.

Many parents, in their eagerness to solve the problem, forget the Invitation step. This means that just as they are at the precipice of actually collaborating on a solution, they impose a solution. Too often we assume that the only person capable of coming up with a good solution to a problem is the adult.

In many two-parent families, one parent is primarily disposed toward imposition of adult will (convinced that more authority would get things squared away), and the other is primarily disposed toward just letting things go (having become convinced that more authority is only making things worse and that family peace is more important than compliance).

While it's tempting to focus on your child's behaviors, in this book we'll be focusing instead on the expectations they are having difficulty meeting that are causing those behaviors. That crucial distinction is going to make a world of difference.