Quotes About Parenting

If you're in a public place and your child is disturbing everyone around you, it may be necessary to take him outside while you attempt to appeal to his upstairs brain.)

Your job as a parent is not to prevent them from experiencing setbacks and failures, but to give them the tools and emotional resilience they need to weather life's storms, and then to walk beside them through those storms.

Every time we say "Convince me" or "Come up with a solution that works for both of us," we give our kids the chance to practice problem solving and decision making. We help them consider appropriate behaviors and consequences, and we help them think about what another person feels and wants. All because we found a way to engage the upstairs, instead of enraging the downstairs.

what you do and don't value, and what you do and don't give attention to, will impact who your child becomes.

And our disciplinary decisions go a long way toward determining how strong those connections are. The way we interact with our kids when they're upset significantly affects how their brains develop, and therefore what kind of people they are, both today and in the years to come.

Instead of just reacting to the external actions, you are focusing your attention on what her inner world may be like—red, green, or blue—and communicating to that internal state of your child.

When we set limits, we help develop the parts of the upstairs brain that allow children to control themselves and regulate their behaviors and their body.

How we treat our children changes who they are and how they will develop. Their brains need our parental involvement. Nature needs nurture.

When your child is disrespectful and talks back to you, when you are asked to come in for a meeting with the principal, when you find crayon scribbles all over your wall: these are survive moments, no question about it. But at the same time, they are opportunities—even gifts—because a survive moment is also a thrive moment, where the important, meaningful work of parenting takes place.

You can use all of the interactions you share—the stressful, angry ones as well as the miraculous, adorable ones—as opportunities to help them become the responsible, caring, capable people you want them to be.

That's a direct lesson every parent should consider quite deeply: do we want to teach our kids that the way to resolve a conflict is to inflict physical pain, particularly on someone who is defenseless and cannot fight back?

we can use these opportunities to realize that at these moments, logic isn't our primary vehicle for bringing some sort of sanity to the conversation. (Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it?) It's also crucial to keep in mind that no matter how nonsensical and frustrating our child's feelings may seem to us, they are real and important to our child. It's vital that we treat them as such in our response.

No-Drama Discipline allows us to communicate to our children, "I'm with you. I've got your back. Even when you're at your worst and I don't like the way you're acting, I love you, and I'm here for you. I understand you're having a hard time, and I am here.

In other words, deep, empathic connection can and should be combined with clear and firm boundaries that create needed structure in children's lives.

Para nosotros, imponer disciplina se reduce a una simple frase: conectar y redirigir. Nuestra primera respuesta debe ser siempre ofrecer conexión tranquilizadora; a continuación podemos redirigir conductas. Incluso cuando decimos «no» al comportamiento de los niños, siempre hemos de decir «sí» a sus emociones y a su manera de experimentar las cosas.

NUESTRA DISCIPLINA SE BASA EN EL CASTIGO Y NO EN LA ENSEÑANZA El propósito de la disciplina no es asegurarnos de que cada infracción tenga su correspondiente castigo. El objetivo real es enseñar a los niños a vivir bien en el mundo. Sin

CREEMOS QUE SI ESTAMOS IMPONIENDO DISCIPLINA, NO PODEMOS SER AFECTUOSOS Y ACOGEDORES Mientras impones disciplina a tu hijo, puedes estar perfectamente tranquilo, además de mostrarte cálido y cariñoso. De hecho, es importante combinar límites claros y coherentes con empatía afectuosa. No subestimes el poder de un tono amable de voz cuando mantienes con tu hijo una conversación sobre la conducta que quieres cambiar. En

This is really important information for parents to understand, because it means that all of the abilities on the list above—the behaviors and skills we want and expect our kids to demonstrate, like sound decision making, control of their emotions and bodies, empathy, self-understanding, and morality—are dependent on a part of their brain that hasn't fully developed yet. Since the upstairs brain is still under construction, it isn't capable of fully functioning

Even if an emotion seems ridiculous to you, don't forget that it's very real to your child, so you don't want to dismiss something that's important to her.

Como padres, estamos programados para intentar proteger a nuestros hijos de todo sufrimiento y dolor, pero en realidad eso es imposible. Nuestros hijos se caerán, se sentirán heridos y sufrirán miedo, tristeza y enfado. De hecho, a menudo estas experiencias difíciles son las que les permiten crecer y descubrir el mundo.

You won't always be able to discipline in a way that both connects and redirects.

When we say to embrace emotions, we mean that during redirection, parents need to help their kids understand that their feelings are neither good nor bad, neither valid nor invalid. They simply are. There's nothing wrong with getting angry, being sad, or feeling so frustrated that you want to destroy something. But saying it's OK to feel like destroying something doesn't mean it's OK to actually do it.

Think about what this information means, practically, as we raise kids who don't have constant access to their upstairs brain. It's unrealistic to expect them always to be rational, regulate their emotions, make good decisions, think before acting, and be empathetic—all of the things a developed upstairs brain helps them do.

So does that give them a get-out-of-jail-free card ("Sorry, Mom, that I squirted our new puppy's face with Windex. I guess my upstairs brain wasn't fully engaged")? Hardly. In fact, it actually gives us parents even more incentive to see that our kids develop the faculties that result in appropriate behavior.