Quotes About Family

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.

No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.

There has been only one Christmas the rest are anniversaries.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

If my mom reads that I'm grammatically incorrect, I'll have hell to pay.

I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to.

The phrase "working mother " is redundant.

My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.

Weekend planning is a prime time to apply the Deathbed Priority Test: On your deathbed, will you wish you would spent more prime weekend hours grocery shopping or walking in the woods with your kids?

Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the spirits of things.

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom.

In some families, 'please' is described as the magic word. In our house, however, it was 'sorry'.

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.