Quotes About Support

Codependents appear to be depended upon, but they are dependent.

People and things don't stop our pain or heal us. In recovery, we learn that this is our job, and we can do it by using our resources: ourselves, our Higher Power, our support systems, and our recovery program.

As Thomas Wright writes in an article from the book Co-Dependency, An Emerging Issue, "I suspect codependents have historically attacked social injustice and fought for the rights of the underdog. Codependents want to help. I suspect they have helped. But they probably died thinking they didn't do enough and were feeling guilty.

Many codependents are barely surviving, and most aren't getting their needs met.

I've learned I can take care of myself, and what I can't do, God will do for me. —Al-Anon member

Learn the words: I feel. Let others say those words and learn to listen—not fix—when they do. We

Some codependents become financially dependent

We can discuss our feelings and problems without expecting people to rescue us too. We can settle for being listened to. That's probably all we ever wanted anyway.

Prayer and meditation help us affirm that our Higher Power cares for us.

I saw people who had gotten so absorbed in other people's problems they didn't have time to identify or solve their own. These were people who had cared so deeply, and often destructively, about other people that they had forgotten how to care about themselves. The codependents felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack.

We are like singers in a large chorus. If the guy next to us gets off key, must we? Wouldn't it help him, and us, more to strive to stay on key? We can learn to hold our part.

the non-drinking person in a relationship with an alcoholic got just as out of control, was in just as much pain, and needed just as much healing as the alcoholic. Al-Anon

In the morning and throughout our day, we lovingly and gently ask ourselves what we can do for ourselves that would feel good. We ask ourselves what we need to do to take care of ourselves. When we hurt, we ask what would help us feel better.15 We give ourselves encouragement and support. We tell ourselves we can do it, we can do it good enough, and things will work out. When we make a mistake, we tell ourselves that's okay.

Sometimes codependents were blamed; sometimes they were ignored; sometimes they were expected to magically shape up (an archaic attitude that has not worked with alcoholics and doesn't help codependents either).

Codependent No More Workbook Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps 52 Weeks of Conscious Contact Finding Your Way Home Gratitude

Learn the words: I feel. Let others say those words and learn to listen—not fix—when they do.

Melody Beattie

Most recovering addicts and alcoholics have codependency underneath.

We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves.

Can you still see and hear? Do you have your senses of taste and smell? Can you walk? Run? Do you have a motorized chair if you're unable to walk on your own? Come on—let's get it all on the list. Ask friends or family for help making your list. What do they see you as having? What do they think you're lucky to have? What do they admire in you?

It's clear now that codependency isn't a fad, as some people once claimed. It's come full circle. As family illnesses, from alcoholism to Alzheimer's disease, continue to become openly discussed by more people, so does the number of people seeking help for codependency increase.

and paid back the welfare department for the financial help they gave me.

Whenever we are thinking too deeply and too hard about ourselves, it may be time to focus on doing something that serves somebody else.

Codependents aren't crazier or sicker than alcoholics. But, they hurt as much or more.