Quotes About Behavior

Studies show that in a phenomenon called emotional contagion, we unconsciously catch emotions from other people--whether good moods or bad ones. Taking the time to be silly means that we're infecting one another with good cheer, and people who enjoy silliness are one third more likely to be happy.

I think adversity magnifies behavior. Tend to be a control freak? You'll become more controlling. Eat for comfort? You'll eat more. And on the positive, if you tend to focus on solutions and celebrate small successes, that's what you'll do in adversity.

Although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we often feel because of the way we act.

However, if you want to know how people would like to be treated, it's more helpful to look at how they themselves act than what they say.

I'm not tempted by things I've decided are off-limits, but once I've started something, I have trouble stopping. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life. We repeat about 40 percent of our behavior almost daily, so our habits shape our existence, and our future. If we change our habits, we change our lives.

Habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control.

With habits, we don't make decisions, we don't use self-control, we just do the thing we want ourselves to do—or that we don't want to do.

When I focus on the way men or husbands generally behave, I start to lump Jamie along with half of humanity. I find myself feeling angry or annoyed with Jamie for things he hasn't even done.

When scheduling a new habit, it helps to tie it to an existing habit, such as "after breakfast," or to an external cue, such as "when my alarm rings," because without such a trigger, it's easy to forget to do the new action.

once the habit is in place, we can effortlessly do the things we want to do.

The simple, decisive question was: How do you respond to expectations?

the real key to habits is decision making—or, more accurately, the lack of decision making

To a truly remarkable extent, we're more likely to do something if it's convenient, and less likely if it's not. For this reason, we should pay close attention to the convenience of any activity we want to make into a habit.

mere acquisition isn't enough to establish a good habit

when dealing with a child who refuses to meet an expectation, it's important to try to understand the reason for that child's behavior. While a Rebel child might think, "You can't make me," a Questioner child may be waiting to hear a convincing argument about why meeting an expectation is worthwhile.

The conduct of our lives is the true reflection of our thoughts. —MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE

Research suggests that about 40 percent of our behavior is repeated almost daily, and mostly in the same context.

Moral Licensing Loophole: In moral licensing, we give ourselves permission to do something "bad" (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we've been "good." We reason that we've earned it or deserve it.

Although many people believe that habits form in twenty-one days, when researchers at University College London examined how long people took to adopt a daily habit, such as drinking water or doing sit-ups, they found that, on average, a habit took sixty-six days to form.

If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

Because we're quite susceptible to "goal contagion," we may rapidly pick up someone else's habits, so it's helpful to be around people who are good role models.

Many assume that offering a reward will help people to jump-start a healthy habit, which will then persist after the reward fades away. Not so. Often, as soon as the reward stops (and sometimes before it stops), the behavior stops.

The conduct of our lives is the true reflection of our thoughts. —Michel de Montaigne, "Of the Education of Children