Quotes About Behavior

intentions," also known as "action triggers" or "if-then" planning. "If ________ happens, then I will do _______." With "if-then" planning, we try to plan for every habit challenge that might arise, so we don't make decisions in the heat of the moment—we've already decided how to behave.

When we consider our own Tendency, we can create circumstances and messages that will work best for us, and when we consider other people's Tendencies, we can create circumstances and messages that will work best for them.

Habits are the invisible architecture of daily life.

I've noticed that some people are serial goal setters, rather than habit formers.

Obligers may find it difficult to form a habit, because often we undertake habits for our own benefit, and Obligers do things more easily for others than for themselves. For them, the key is external accountability.

Audiences = expectations. If he thinks you're not watching, he won't need to rebel against your expectations.

Our habits are our destiny.

Many strategies help us change our habits, and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability.

And there's one reason, in particular, that habits help to preserve our self-control. In ordinary terms, a "habit" is generally defined as a behavior that's recurrent, is cued by a specific context, often happens without much awareness or conscious intent, and is acquired through frequent repetition.

Research suggests that people feel more in control and less anxious when engaged in habit behavior.

Make it easy to do right and hard to go wrong.

As Oscar Wilde wrote, with his characteristic brand of thought-provoking overstatement, "When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy." Now

When we try to form a new habit, we set an expectation for ourselves. Therefore, it's crucial to understand how we respond to expectations.

People have an inborn disposition that's set within a certain range, but they can boost themselves to the top of their happiness range or push themselves down to the bottom of their happiness range by their actions.

Reflecting on the Four Tendencies often makes it clear why we're not getting along with someone else. We often madden one another with our Tendencies.

I feel too anxious to tackle my bad habits, but my bad habits are what make me anxious.

it doesn't matter what we think a person (or ourselves) "should be able to" do—what matters is only what works for each individual. To help people change their habits or behavior, we should help get them what they need to succeed, whether that's more clarity, more information, more outer accountability, or more choices.

To craft a sign that works for all Four Tendencies we should provide information, consequences, and choice.

Aaron Beck, founder of cognitive behavioral therapy, maintains that people find it easy to notice what their partners do wrong, but not what they do right, so he suggests keeping "marriage diaries" to track partners' considerate behavior; one study showed that 70 percent of couples who did this tracking reported an improved relationship.

Arranging to Fail Loophole: It's odd. Instead of fleeing temptation, we often plan to succumb.

In their thought-provoking book Focus, researchers Tory Higgins and Heidi Grant Halvorson argue that people lean toward being "promotion-focused" or "prevention-focused" in their aims.

Perhaps—like writing, leadership, and a sense of humor—good habits are something that must be learned, but can't be taught.

Habit is a good servant but a bad master.

when we consider the Four Tendencies, we're better able to understand other people.