Quotes About Behavior

NUESTRA DISCIPLINA SE BASA EN EL CASTIGO Y NO EN LA ENSEÑANZA El propósito de la disciplina no es asegurarnos de que cada infracción tenga su correspondiente castigo. El objetivo real es enseñar a los niños a vivir bien en el mundo. Sin

CREEMOS QUE SI ESTAMOS IMPONIENDO DISCIPLINA, NO PODEMOS SER AFECTUOSOS Y ACOGEDORES Mientras impones disciplina a tu hijo, puedes estar perfectamente tranquilo, además de mostrarte cálido y cariñoso. De hecho, es importante combinar límites claros y coherentes con empatía afectuosa. No subestimes el poder de un tono amable de voz cuando mantienes con tu hijo una conversación sobre la conducta que quieres cambiar. En

You won't always be able to discipline in a way that both connects and redirects.

what we do as a result of our emotions that determines whether our behavior is OK or not OK.

So does that give them a get-out-of-jail-free card ("Sorry, Mom, that I squirted our new puppy's face with Windex. I guess my upstairs brain wasn't fully engaged")? Hardly. In fact, it actually gives us parents even more incentive to see that our kids develop the faculties that result in appropriate behavior.

You can feel whatever you feel, but you can't always do whatever you want to do.

when we need to say no to their behavior and redirect them toward appropriate action.

Time-in and the mindful awareness and presence it creates will enable your brain to literally grow more integrative fibers that create your ability to regulate emotions, attention, thinking, and behavior, and your sense of well-being and connections to others will be optimized. If carefully conducted scientific studies did not reveal this, I myself would look at this list and say, "That is too good to be true!

As we'll explain in the coming chapters, these everyday parenting challenges result from a lack of integration within your child's brain. The

my behavior is no longer under my conscious control.

We need to know what's behind it, what's causing it. If we focus only on our child's behavior (her external world) and neglect the reasons behind that behavior (her internal world), then we'll concentrate only on the symptoms, not the cause that's producing them. And if we consider only the symptoms, we'll have to keep treating those symptoms over and over again.

parent who recognizes an upstairs tantrum is left with one clear response: never negotiate with a terrorist. An upstairs tantrum calls for firm boundaries and a clear discussion about appropriate and inappropriate behavior.

Sometimes we assume that our kids won't behave the way we want them to, when in reality, they simply can't, at least not in this particular moment.

Recall that discipline means to teach, not to punish.

What lesson do I want to teach in this moment? The lesson is not that misbehavior merits a consequence, but that there are better ways of getting your attention and managing his anger than resorting to violence.

even small children—as young as four or five—really can understand some important basics about the way the brain works, and in turn understand themselves and their behavior and feelings in new and more insightful ways.

Parents often respond to their child's behavior by focusing on the surface level of the experience and not on the deeper level of the mind.

inhibiting impulses, managing big angry feelings, and considering the impact of their behavior on others. Learning

En realidad, sin embargo, la conducta de búsqueda de atención no solo es totalmente apropiada desde el punto de vista del desarrollo, sino que en realidad es relacional. La atención es una necesidad de todos los niños en todas partes.

The parental response, then, undermines both of the primary goals of discipline—changing behavior and building the brain—because it sidesteps an opportunity for the child to think about her own behavior and even feel some healthy guilt or remorse.

stage, and what they are ultimately capable of. This is how we use our own mindsight skills to see the mind behind our children's behavior.

When children are securely attached to their parents, they feel safe enough to test that relationship. In other words, your child's misbehavior is often a sign of his trust and safety with you. Many parents notice that their children "save it all up for them," behaving much better at school or with other adults than they do at home. This is why. These flare-ups are often signs of safety and trust, rather than just some form of rebellion.

the behaviors and skills we want and expect our kids to demonstrate, like sound decision making, control of their emotions and bodies, empathy, self-understanding, and morality—are dependent on a part of their brain that hasn't fully developed yet.

Our children need repeated experiences that allow them to develop wiring in their brain that helps them delay gratification, contain urges to react aggressively toward others, and flexibly deal with not getting their way.