Quotes About Trust

The best time to make friends is before you need them. Ether Barrymore

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

I believe there is something out there watching over us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window.

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

I was dating a guy for a while because he told me he had an incurable disease. I didn't realize it was stupidity.

What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked at the end of it.

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

I used to keep my college room mate from reading my personal mail by hiding it in her textbooks.

Dont believe your friends when they ask you to be honest with them. All they really want is to be maintained in the good opinion they have of themselves.

The best time to make friends is before you need them.

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're...you're...booty call!

Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

Never swap horses crossing a stream

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wont stand for that.

It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead -- and find no one there.