Quotes About Trust

Always be wary of the Software Engineer who carries a screwdriver.

My computer goes down on me more often than my girlfriend.

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.

God heals and the doctor takes the fee.

One with God is a majority.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!

It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Never floss with a stranger.

I think serial monogamy says it all.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are