Quotes About Balance

If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.

Life is better when you're drunk. I ought to become an alcoholic.

Horror is like the humor, the one without the other can't exist. Horror makes life more interesting like the humor!

The world would probably be better if people were put in carriers and cats roamed free.

You walk a fine line between beautifully macabre and uncharacteristically psychotic.

It's all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it now and then.

If my liver cared enough, it would have told me to stop. - Jonathan "Jack" McVoy

That was one tiny trailer when both girls wanted to watch TV or use the computer or the bathroom at the same time.

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.

I'm quite certain that if I lost my sense of humor, it would most definitely need to be replaced by a padded cell.

If you feel that you can solve others problems, then please, work little more on your own problems and solve them first.

Make project plan as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There are lots of fish in the sea. Some are sharks, some are angels, and some are bottom feeders.

You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!

After we deal and heal...NOT A A SHRED OF EVIDENCE EXISTS THAT LIFE IS SERIOUS.....Jan Marshall

An optimist is a man who plant two acorns and buy a hammock.

Absolutely. Justice served with a side of pineapple. That's what I'm here for.

I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills.

I'm a kindhearted but highly competitive pragmatist. When I seek to win something, I always make certain it's never at the expense of anything more serious than the inadequate efforts of others.

Computers are heaven-sent when they work and hell-spawn when they don't.There's just not much middle ground when it comes to technology.

Way to defuse a situation. It's tough to enjoy a good bloodbath in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation.

Motherhood is a constant battle of wanting to go to bed early so you can catch up on sleep and wanting to stay awake so you can enjoy some peace and sanity!