Quotes About Paradox

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

My friend "M" says the irony of being a zombie is that everything is funny, but you can't smile, because your lips have rotted off.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

If the world was perfect, it wouldn't be.

If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood, and if they had been any better, I should not have come.

I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them.

"Yes, but that's our strongest weak point."

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

These jokes the world plays, they're not funny at all.

Comedy is rarely funny.

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'?

How the hell do you wake up dead?

Not dead-dying. Funny how two things could be so similar and yet so far apart

A lot of the stuff Kafka said he thought was hilariously funny.

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him.

The operation was a success, but I'm afraid the doctor is dead.

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.

I took a baby shower.

Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think.

It's a funny old world.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.