Quotes About Paradox

April Fools' is the only day to take people seriously.

If I were married, I would be unmarried.

It's sick and twisted and violent. Other than that it is totally G rated.

Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.

Ljupka Cvetanova, The New Land

The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

There is no logic in logics except an illogical logic.

It feels a little bit funny coming here and telling you guys that Linux and open source are the future of gaming. It's sort of like going to Rome and teaching Catholicism to the pope.

Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past, even while we attempt to define it.

If no-one comes from the future to stop doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?

The cherished dream of every chessplayer is to play a match with the World Champion. But here is the paradox: the closer you come to the realization of this goal, the less you think about it.

I laugh when I hear that the fish in the water is thirsty. I laugh when I hear that people go on pilgrimage to find God.

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.

I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.

This is the first age that's ever paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

In passing, we should note this curious mark of our own age: the only absolute allowed is the absolute insistence that there is no absolute.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'di..', and 'Colon'.

I'm as pure as the driven slush.

Breasts like granite and a brain like swiss cheese.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.