Quotes About Paradox

Humans were peculiar. They were by turns squeamish and appallingly violent.

It is the height of irony to prejudge someone of prejudice.

The more monsterous humanity gets, the more nicer monsters become

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

God has a most wicked sense of humor.

After I die, I shall return to earth as a gatekeeper of a bordello and I won't let any of you enter.

I can read minds, but I'm illiterate.

The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron.

Sometimes I... No, I don't.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!

Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.

It was beautiful in a harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish kind of way.

What year did Jesus think it was?

Ambiguity — the Devil's volleyball.