Quotes About Humor

I don't think you can beat your audience over the head with hard-hitting cartoons day after day after day.

Tell me that you don't like cartoons, and I think there's something wrong with you. I don't understand why people don't like cartoons.

I used to think of the cartoons as a magazine within a magazine. First you go through and read all the cartoons, and then you go back and read the articles.

For an encore, I might do health-care cartoons using my own blood. That will be my last act.

I can watch cartoons all day!

I think casting in a comedy is all important.

I love 'Takeshi's Castle.'

I constantly catch myself saying, 'My fiancee, Linda. Wait no - wife.'

I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself anymore.

There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.

I'm a good Catholic - most of the time.

Cats are evil, and they hate me.

I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus. On a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

When I was 14, I had a job in a cake shop. I got caught by the boss, lying down eating cake, and was sacked on my first day.

The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.

Life is funny, and that's why I celebrate it in my shows.

Celebrities say the darnedest things.

I have spoofed celebrities before, but it's hard for me because I picture them watching it.

It's funny how you call me a celebrity. Oh man.

Sadly, I haven't had a brain cell since I had children.

I don't watch Comedy Central. I don't enjoy it.

I just think 'Broad City' - Comedy Central's answer to 'Girls' - is the best thing that's been put on television in years. It's amazing.

I'm not a particularly cerebral writer. I unabashedly go for the belly.

You had to learn at a certain age what sarcasm is, you know?